Love Stinks
by Xortberg
Summary: Two months after Christmas, Tai still can't get over the fact that Sora chose Matt. Mostly depressing, but I tried to at least hint at a cheerful outcome.


_This isn't right. It's just not. _Try as he might, Tai couldn't bring himself to enjoy the performance. It wasn't anything to do with Matt - well, at least not with his singing. He was just as good, if not better than, he had ever been. Still, Tai just couldn't bring himself to enjoy himself while he thought about that night.

Sneaking a glance over at Sora - eyes shining as she watched Matt belt out song after song - he sighed. _Maybe a surprise Digimon attack will crash _this _concert, too. _He just hadn't been able to completely face the fact that Sora - the woman of his dreams, the girl he'd liked since middle school, the only girl he had ever truly _loved _in the first place - had chosen Matt over him.

At first, Tai had tried to be completely cool with it; her life, her choice. Of course, that plan was disastrous. He'd then tried hating both of them, but of course, he was completely unable to do so. So here he was, keeping her company in the stands because she didn't want to sit alone, while _she _cheered him on and fawned over him just like every other girl in the audience.

Glum, and descending into depression, Tai sidled out past all the screaming fans and headed outside. At the door, he glanced back in Sora's direction. As expected, she hadn't even noticed him leave. _Looks like she didn't ever need me at all._ Tai's thoughts weren't without bitterness; after all, Tai had always been the one to watch out for Sora. Matt… he was always preoccupied, with his brother or with 'finding himself' or what have you. He had never really shown her any sort of attention outside of friendship. And Tai, who always watched over her, who came to her rescue when she was being held by Datamon, who went out of his way time and time again to make sure she was safe, and happy, and comfortable…

_Nice guys finish last, I guess._ He sighed as he sat down on a bench, shivering only slightly at the cool February night. It wasn't even fair that it still affected him like it was. Hell, it had been two months already! He never expected to be _completely _over it all in two months, but he did expect a little improvement. Instead, his feelings had only intensified. Now, whenever he saw her, he felt a pang of longing he had never quite known before now. Whenever he saw _him, _jealousy so intense it threatened to turn into rage.

And when he saw the two together… it was impossible to know for sure. It always changed. Sometimes, jealousy. Sometimes, longing. Sometimes, he even wondered if life was worth living with the woman he loved in another man's arms.

But Tai knew better, really. I mean, he had the Crest of Courage. He knew better than anyone that he was being a coward, and it hurt him more than it would have hurt anyone else to have to admit it. So he just had to hold his head up, even when he was depressed, and hope that maybe, someday, he would get over her.

"Tai! What are you doing out here?" Startled out of his reverie, Tai looked up with a grin, following the familiar voice to its source.

"Mimi! God, it's good to see you!" He eagerly embraced his once again pink-haired friend. "I swear, Mimi, you have a different look every time I see you." She giggled.

"And you always look the same. When are you going to get a haircut, Tai? I really think it'd look good if you got it cut short." Tai grinned, sensing another of Mimi's long-winded rants about his hair. Instead, she stopped, and looked at him severely.

"What's up?"

"Don't 'what's up' me. What's wrong, Tai?" Tai blinked in surprise.

"Nothing, really. Why?"

"Oh, don't lie to me. We saved two worlds, twice. I know you too well for you to lie to me." Tai shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but getting cut off by his friend. "Is it Sora and Matt?" Tai, to Mimi's surprise, chuckled.

"Wow. Kinda funny, in a kinda twisted way. I'm so in love with the girl I can't go two hours without thinking about her, and she doesn't realize anything's wrong. On the other hand, I haven't seen you in two months, and you automatically know why I'm upset." He shook his head. "Maybe that says something for where we would've ended up if she hadn't picked him. Maybe we _weren't _actually meant for each other."

Mimi's face fell. "Tai, I'm really sorry everything turned out this way. She does love you, Tai. She always has. You two were just too close for her to actually fall _in _love with you, you know?" Tai nodded, glumly. "Anyway, if you really _do _love her, that means you want her to be happy, right? Tai nodded again. "Then be happy _for _her. Tai, I don't think you realize just how much that girl cares for you."

"Really? How much, then?" His voice was once again bitter.

"I don't know how you've never noticed. All the time, Tai, she would go out of her way to make sure you were happy. I watched her forgive you for things that most girls would've hated you forever for. Whenever you had a hard time, she would be just as down as you were. She _loves _you. Just… not the same way you love her. Still, don't think for a moment it's in any way less powerful." Tai stared resolutely at the ground, fighting as hard as he could to hold back tears. "Don't let this come between your friendship with her, Tai. If you really love her, you'll realize that you're hurting her just as much as she's hurting you by being so distraught."

Tai held out his hand. "Here's my ticket stub. You can go enjoy the concert. I've… gotta go think about stuff." Mimi took it, and smiled sadly. "And thanks, by the way." Before she could respond, he turned and strode away.

Several minutes later, he slipped quietly into his apartment, careful not to wake Kari or his mom. As he lay down in his bed, tears poured out of his eyes. _Mimi's right. About everything. I've just been too stubborn to realize it. Still, knowing that she's right doesn't make anything any easier. I'm gonna have to act like everything's okay, even though it isn't. But why do I have to? Why can't I just be happily miserable, and let her suffer with me? _Tai sighed.

_Because I love her too damn much to hurt her, even if she's hurting me._

* * *

A/N: Well, I was semi-depressed when I wrote this, and I can't say I feel much better having finished. I was reading a bunch of cute little happy Taioras and I realized that it rarely ever works out like in the fanfics - the show was actually more realistic in this regard. Tai never really had a chance, what with Matt being all good-looking, famous, and all that other jazz.

And then I realized that I've gone through much the same thing, and my feelings about it all very closely mirror what Tai comes to realize at the end. Of course, I've actually been pretty cool with the whole process, but I was in an angsty mood when I wrote this, so Tai wasn't quite so chill about it all. Still, he was the Digidestined of Courage, so he'll no doubt pull through in the end.

Anywho, I do hope this wasn't horrible - although I know it was, since it was written in the throes of teenage angst, something that has rarely ever spawned anything remotely good. Still, tell me what you think.


End file.
